Self Care

 

                                     Become the hero of your own life!!!

  

It’s a cold winter morning. Its 5 AM- the alarm rings. You have set it to go for a 5 Km walk. Will you get up or roll over and cover yourself with a blanket and continue to sleep- promising yourself that tomorrow you will definitely go for the walk. You have been invited to a party and you promise yourself you will go easy on the food and drinks given that you are on a diet. Your friend comes to you and says hey this is a party and you cannot diet at my home. One thing leads to another and you have gorged on the fattiest of starters and drunk lots of sugar laced drinks- promising yourself you will starve for the next whole week. You have promised your spouse and children you will be on a Digital Detox programme to overcome your Social Media addiction. You put away your phone but then get a call from a friend. After the call you decide not to look at your phone. But you give in to temptation and see that one last WhatsApp Message and that one last Instagram post from your friend in Canada and then suddenly realize you have been on your phone for an hour. I could go on and on and all of you are very familiar with these situations. It has happened to all of us!!!

 

Self-Discipline is a topic that is close to my heart and has also intrigued me- Why do some people achieve all the goals that they set out to achieve? Why are some people able to delay gratification? Why are some people unable to change the course of their lives even though they know that they are on the wrong path? My personal journey with Self Discipline has had it shares of up and downs, highs and lows.

 

I have researched the topic of Self Discipline to understand what is that separates the winners from losers, the great from the also rans, the healthy and happy from the unhealthy and miserable. Like any topic of substance Self Discipline has simple attributes that are easy to understand but difficult to execute. 

 

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is not an act but a habit-so said ARISTOTLE.  Habits are the most important building blocks of Self Discipline. How can I make a practice into habit? Let me start with an example from my life- my battle with weight and losing and gaining it. I have always been fighting this battle against losing weight. I have enrolled with many nutritionists and have ended up losing weight but the moment I am not accountable to anybody I end up going back to square one. When I look at pictures of having lost weight -it’s not just about me looking good but my journey and the fact that it’s possible. After a lot of reflection, I realized everybody loses and then gains weight. The most successful weight loss is achieved by developing the habit of Self Discipline. Saying No, resisting temptation and pushing yourself out of inertia. The battle against weight is just a metaphor but it is more about me being able to fight and take on anything if I set my mind to it. This also makes me realize that I can take on bigger battles in life and losing weight is just a symbol for achieving something big. It is a building block towards success built on the foundation of the Self Discipline Habit.

 

Let me take you through a recent habit that I have built up during the lockdown- the habit of reading. I was never one to read books. I am more of a doer than a reader. I like action. However, during the lockdown I realized there is so much insightful thought that has been written in books. If only I could start reading them, I could begin to change my life for the better.  How did I do it- 66 is the answer. So, what does the number 66 have to do with me developing a reading habit? 66 is the number of days it takes to develop a life changing habit- research from the University of London. I read continually for 66 days- sometimes just a few pages but I read without giving up.

 

So how does one go about building a  Habit Stacking Routine?

• Develop the habit of following the routine: 
• ·       Write a simple routine in a To Do List and follow it.
• ·       Pick a time and location.
• ·       Build one routine at a time.
• ·       Start with small wins.
• ·       Create a logical checklist.
• ·       Have a reason: Why.
• ·       Be accountable.
• ·       Create small enjoyable rewards.

So what do you do once the Habit Stacking Routine is in Place? We need to  build the habit of  Self Discipline. Self Discipline is built on the back of a strong foundation of habits and it is irreversible.

According to Marissa Pier, if we adopt habits and make them our own, success will follow. She also mentions the four secrets to building self-discipline:

• ·       Do what you don’t want to do first
• ·       Take action every single day in the direction of your Goals
• ·       Delay gratification; delay the reward
• ·       Praise yourself if you can see it you can achieve it.

·       Despite what many people may think, Self-discipline is a learned behavior. It requires practice and repetition in your day-to-day life. A routine will help establish good habits and break bad ones.

Robin Sharma talks about the habit installation protocol in a three Step Process:

Step 1:  First 22 Days- He says the first 22 days are about deconstructing and letting go of old habits and belief systems.

Step 2:  The next 22 days are about installation where you are installing the neural architecture of the new habit you want to install.

Step 3:  Last is Integration where its starts getting easier -and the new habits becomes easier to do than not do.

 

The world needs more heroes and why wait for them when you have it in you to become one of them -Become the hero of your own Life!!